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Frequency > Frequency Feb 2004
 What
In The World Is OJR?
While in the transitional mode,
Crane enjoys the luxury of a gracious exit.
In the
world of cubicles that is populated by the rats that
eat, poison, and constantly move our cheese, we commonly
refer to people who have resigned their positions while
working through a notice period as short timers. If
we can all agree that this is a non-offensive, politically
correct term that doesn't negatively represent the views,
opinions, or attitudes of the vertically challenged
(or TFM magazine's management), I ask you to open your
hypersensitive, attorney-fearing mind and continue reading.
Last month, I mentioned the
process of reconsidering my career direction and accepting
another job opportunity. This month, I invite you to
live vicariously through my recent experience and discover
the truth about "On the Job Retirement" or OJR. Please
note, this phrase should be reserved exclusively to
identify the status of someone working out a notice
period-not to describe the lazy folks who may be enjoying
OJR in an office near you at this very moment!
We would probably agree that
during a transition, it's good business to do everything
reasonable to help the boss and your replacement. In
spite of these good intentions, we all know there are
several months of blanket amnesty granted so the departed
employee is blamed for everything and anything that
goes wrong. This is especially true in the facility
management profession. After all, we have a heck of
a lot of responsibility and knowledge that is impossible
to transfer simply and quickly to a replacement.
When I resigned in early December
2003, I offered to work a three-week notice period.
Ultimately, I agreed to help out for an additional week.
Since my new employer was flexible with my start date
and these four weeks included the Christmas and New
Year holidays, my OJR was quite enjoyable!
Enjoyable? How could I possibly
enjoy working a four week notice when I was excited
about starting a new job? To top it off, I had about
50 million things to do before moving out of state.
Well my friends, if you haven't
experienced OJR-or if it has been a while since you
have-you may have forgotten what it means to be a "Teflon
employee." Projects and deadlines fly around and land
on others, but they never stick to you.
Here are a few typical OJR
expectations:
1. Workaholism withdrawal symptoms
are typical, as your body adjusts to working only eight
hours per day.
2. Shakes or twitches may be
followed by large grins when you're first out of the
office and in the parking lot at 5 p.m.
3. Confusion may ensue when
driving to work after the sun comes up or pulling into
your driveway before it gets dark.
4. Cardiovascular health may
improve as you begin walking from the far corners of
the parking lot (as opposed to the privilege of the
"pole position" you gain by being first to the office).
5. Eight or nine solid hours
of sleep may become common each night. Slumber interrupting
jolts over unfinished "must do" tasks will gradually
disappear.
6. Lunch breaks may include
actual chewing and swallowing (instead of inhalation
of food); there may even be conversations unrelated
to work. Meals may also incorporate both hands (instead
of that common phenomenon where eating becomes a one
armed fiasco).
7. Uncontrollable, hysterical
giggles may occur during project transition meetings
with aggressive schedules and lengthy follow up requirements
delegated to everyone.except you.
8. Occasional smiles may be
inevitable while helping the boss figure out how he's
going to "do more with less" until (or if) you are replaced.
Even though our salaries are easily quantified, all
the things we know and do are really priceless.
9. Headaches, neckaches, and
eyestrain may fade after digging through and reliving
years of e-mail, projects, and file folders-reminders
of accomplishments, training seminars, accident reports,
insurance claims (better left forgotten), and creative
ideas saved for "when you had time."
10. Certified pack rats may
become comfortable throwing away things that had been
stored in case someone ever had a question.
11. Kangaroo height dust bunnies
can be safely removed from books, floors, equipment,
and shelving.
12. Customers and suppliers
may wish you the best and tell you they can't imagine
the place without you. During four weeks of OJR, I enjoyed
each of the aforementioned experiences (some of them
several times). Although it was difficult to leave my
staff and relationships forged during major and minor
projects over almost five years, I felt an enormous
sense of relief as if a huge weight were being lifted
from my shoulders. It is refreshing to know that new
customers, teammates, and a new set of challenges, projects,
and opportunities are just around the corner. And at
least for a little while, I won't be getting paged in
the middle of the night by HVAC software, security guards,
or the elevator monitoring company.
If you have an OJR story to
share with fellow facility professionals, please send
Crane an e-mail at jeff_crane_pe@yahoo.com.
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